There is a difference between feeling and being alone. Both are equally hard to endure but knowing the difference was life-changing. There are 70 million people worldwide who stutter yet growing up I felt like the only one. Stuttering was socially isolating because it denied my use of verbal communication to foster connection with others. When
Category: Propellers
Surfacing emotions that we never knew were holding us back is a disruptive experience. It is much easier to numb ourselves to them, and when we do, it becomes impossible to understand their influence on our lives. Fear and shame were mine. I lived in fear of anyone hearing or seeing my stutter, and I
Growing up with a stutter was lonely and isolating. I lost my formative years to an unbearable social anxiety that denied me the opportunity to learn how to interact with others. I had friends. I played teams sports. I passed as socially fluent. I graduated college. And, I got my dream job. Yet, no one
It was sink or swim, and storytelling was how I learned to swim. Dating sat atop my fear hierarchy like it does for many, but more so for me because of my stutter. Success at dating goes no further than first impressions, and in the age of swiping left or right—though before then as well—that means
At thirteen-years old, I attended a month long intensive fluency clinic to fix my severe stutter. If I didn’t do well, I would stutter forever. I didn’t do well. Fast forward eighteen years to a moment when I was answering questions as part of a talk I gave at the National Stuttering Association’s (NSA) annual conference. “Why do most people who
Living on guard is exhausting. It consumed all of my energy to be that watchful for so many years, yet I had no other choice. I passed through life avoiding social interactions with the hope that no one would talk in my direction. I missed opportunities, friendships, jobs, and all of the everyday connections in between.
Unless someone tells you what it is you never feel it. It lingers in the background of your life, wearing down your resilience and leaves you unknowingly begging for mercy. Instead of acknowledging it, we numb our senses and bury its burden. It accumulates and compounds with each moment. It shapes who we are each day. It
Every Waking Moment 