By Bath time is sacred. I cherish it every night because I get to spend an uninterrupted half an hour with my son as he poops, takes a bath, and brushes his teeth. Granted, some nights are harder than others, but most you can count on him being his unequivocal self.
As we finished up bath one night, he picked up where he left off a few weeks ago. We started doing this back and forth where he says, “Daaaaaa-dddyyyy” and then I say his name the same way. When I said it, his face lit up and he innocently chuckled with a big smile. I asked, “do you like it when I say your name?” Without hesitation, he responded:
“Yes, I do! I really do because you have such a beautiful and sweet voice, daddy!”
I thanked him for saying that and used it as a teaching moment, since we’re always on the lookout for them of late. “Sometimes the [first letter] of your name is hard for daddy to say…” And before I could finish, he cuts in:
“So, instead you call me buddy, right?”
I sat there on my knees, stunned and leveled. He blew my mind, again. A five-year-old should not have that level of awareness, but he does, and it really made me think.
Kids are impressionable sponges, always picking up on things and, as a parent, you fear whether they will soak in the right things. With stuttering and what I know about the typical childhood journey, the hypervigilance doesn’t come out of nowhere. A child who stutters develops their awareness superpower from those around them, though usually to protect themselves.
What I’m seeing in my son is different. His emotional intelligence and level of spontaneity in interactions such as this one suggests that he is staying highly present in most of his moments. He is observing healthy developmental interactions and processing how others make him feel. On most nights, he jumps out of the bath, literally, and gives me a big wet hug, saying “I love you daddy” as he looks straight into my eyes.
Yes, he stutters. But we have to see beyond the sights and sounds of how he says things to hear how he is processing the world around him.
For more on my experiences of being a parent who stutters of a son who stutters, see the following posts I have written since onset two years ago.
Sailboat, Cross, American Flag, Heart, Little Moon
Why Don’t You Ever Say My Name?
The Freakout: How We React is How They React
Thank You For Sharing A Wonderful Day
Day One: He Noticed His Difference
The Wince: ‘Holding Space’ For Our Son
Letting Go of Control: My Reaction to His Stutter in Public
I Have A Son Who Stutters: Acceptance as a Parent Who Stutters
Every Waking Moment 