Blog
How…?
Writing helped wrestle my life free from the stranglehold of stuttering. Three years on, writing is now a daily practice, and I have yet to experience writer’s block.
Most of my posts will be about stuttering, affliction, healing, and what could be wonder. They will become the scaffolding from which I will build a practical model for life change, and represent a chronicle of my own journey.
There will be four kinds of posts: long, short, graphics, and etymology briefs.
If you’re new to here, begin with the initial posts to understand where you are entering the journey and how far along the model is in development. I also tweet much of the content published here if you want to follow along on Twitter.
Featured
Learning to Take Up Space
“Everyone, everyone, we got a job over here, 50 miles away. There’s a big hole that has to be filled. C’mon!” my son proclaimed to the entire gathering of parents and children at a 5-year-old friends’ birthday party. He was holding a pretend cellphone while straddling a big wheel atop the hill in their backyard.…
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Instead You Call Me Buddy?
Bath time is sacred. I cherish it every night because I get to spend an uninterrupted half an hour with my son as he poops, takes a bath, and brushes his teeth. Granted, some nights are harder than others, but most you can count on him being his unequivocal self. As we finished up bath…
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Sailboat, Cross, American Flag, Heart, Little Moon
My internal alarm went off, an innate threat response learned in childhood. But for my son at his 5-year check-up, the request from the nurse to do his first vision and hearing tests didn’t set off the same visceral reaction. He stood 10 feet from the chart as I covered one of his eyes. In…
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Why Don’t You Ever Say My Name?
I’m standing in the hallway listening to my son tell his stories before bed. He stutters through his words to find the right ones to explain something his imagination implores him to get out in that very instant. I say “goodnight” as I thought he was done, but as often is the case, he had…
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The Freak Out: How We React is How They React
Perhaps this is biased because I stutter. But maybe not because I have experienced both sides, even if my onset was over thirty years ago, I know how the story goes. Being a kid who starts to stutter and being a parent of a kid who starts to stutter can be a challenging reality to…
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That…is…Abuse: Parental Accountability with Stuttering
I was aware of the implications when I said it. I paused, and thought, “No way, is it?…Yes…it is.” Abuse. A word that I have not considered when it comes to childhood stuttering, but similar themes have been swirling in my head since walking alongside my son who stutters for the last two years. I…
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With What We Have
They did the best they could with what they had at the time. I would argue that most adults who stutter have uttered this line about how their stuttering was handled by their parents during childhood. I have myself. When I have said it, though, it is backs by years of coming to terms, reaching the…
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Thank You For Sharing A Wonderful Day
If you have lived with stuttering or another chronic difference, then you know the ups and downs, the oscillations between “good” and “bad” days, whatever your measure of such may be. There is a toll it takes, and you either submit to its demands or you build specific defenses—coping mechanisms—to withstand at least some of…
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Day One: He Noticed His Difference
Most nights, my wife puts our son to bed and reads him a few books to end his day. I leave him with a hug and a kiss, telling him that I love him. In recent months, my release begins when I close his door. I begin to let down the façade that makes everything…
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The Wince: ‘Holding Space’ For Our Son
There is no alternative. As time stands still, my heart stops, awareness heightens, hearing narrows, and I physically turn towards my son as I detect that he is about to speak. No matter what I’m doing or where I may be, he gets my undivided, hypervigilant attention. The seconds between first detection and the beginning…
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Always write what you can’t NOT write.
Ryan Holiday
Every Waking Moment 